I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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