i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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