Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
