Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
