i jhust puked up my retainher.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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