Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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