Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
thus making me awesome and them whores
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
