This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
