Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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