In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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