Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
