They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
