I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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