I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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