we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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