I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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