Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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