no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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