I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
