woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
