This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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