whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
