sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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