So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize