We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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