arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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