PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
