we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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