Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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