Porn is love you can see.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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