come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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