would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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