My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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