so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
