Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
