Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
