I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
