Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
