You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
