i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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