he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
