And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
