I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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