so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
