This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize