Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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