i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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