NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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