What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
