I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
