But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
