It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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