A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
