I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize