i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
