this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
