dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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