Will you blow on my dice?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
