Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
