Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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