Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
