i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
