We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
