I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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