Where did you get a picture of my penis
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
