idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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