if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
