So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
