I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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