Where is the hickey?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
