Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
